Unlearning-One Day at a Time

screen-shot-2016-12-06-at-8-50-52-pmIn my life I can’t help but marvel at the grim, if not blind determination to force people places and things to BE different from how Wrecking Ballthey are.  This behavior is typically paired with barely contained rage or smugness, dependent on the outcome.

This influence did not springboard me into a state of wholesome badassery,  Overly receptive to sensory stimulus and the emotional energy of others, highly strung, I have been mostly scared shitless and very reactive. 

WBA is my journal of expansion beyond what I have “known”, now living intentionally with NEW, kinder, gentler ways of being in the world.   With the close and constant proximity to Trusted Others I am re-parenting myself, growing into a spiritually mature woman.

Seems as though I get to unlearn the certain things many times.  Relieved by the increasing days(years, months,weeks…) in between my lessons.  I am still surprised to find that: “The broken clock is right twice a day“.   I am less easily fooled by the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde persona into thinking that we have entered into either our new and more harmonious forever OR our new and worsened state of conflict.  For me,  trying to understand and to be close to those who choose to demonstrate their feelings primarily through awkward compliments & gifts or cold shunning and punishment– with little in between, has proven too confusing for me.  It is too much for me.  I surrender!  It does make me crazy. Literally.

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram by clicking the pic- Wholesomebadass. https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/

Author: Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am new to the experiences of faith and hope and courage, qualities absent for me in proximity to my family. No Contact has been the way to keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part– to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

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