In my life I can’t help but marvel at the grim, if not blind determination to force people places and things to BE different from how they are. This behavior is typically paired with barely contained rage or smugness, dependent on the outcome.
This influence did not springboard me into a state of wholesome badassery, Overly receptive to sensory stimulus and the emotional energy of others, highly strung, I have been mostly scared shitless and very reactive.
WBA is my journal of expansion beyond what I have “known”, now living intentionally with NEW, kinder, gentler ways of being in the world. With the close and constant proximity to Trusted Others I am re-parenting myself, growing into a spiritually mature woman.
Seems as though I get to unlearn the certain things many times. Relieved by the increasing days(years, months,weeks…) in between my lessons. I am still surprised to find that: “The broken clock is right twice a day“. I am less easily fooled by the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde persona into thinking that we have entered into either our new and more harmonious forever OR our new and worsened state of conflict. For me, trying to understand and to be close to those who choose to demonstrate their feelings primarily through awkward compliments & gifts or cold shunning and punishment– with little in between, has proven too confusing for me. It is too much for me. I surrender! It does make me crazy. Literally.
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