Month: December 2016

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

I Choose to Share, Heal, Expand-I Write the Ending

When a person touches us and it feels wrong, IT IS.  100% unacceptable– to be touched in ways that feel yucky, unwanted, unwholesome.  IT happening, is the beginning.  After the moment passes, the wreckage persists- governing all that will follow. My downward spiral continued until…. I realized I could no longer continue suffering, struggling, thinking, fearing as I had for decades.  The Gift Of Desperation— 100% clarity– IT(the residual insanity) shall no longer be …

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

Letter to Mom

Dear Mom, I have confidence that you will find countless, possibly un or subconscious ways to reject me, put me in my place before you are finished with me.  I find your support of my sister’s abuse from my earliest memories to be unforgivable.  You want peace, maybe a single effort or word, authentically suggestive of healing would be a …

Musings

Letter To Self

December 26,2016 Dear Self, Re: the Matter of Your Female Progenitor and Sibling: Enjoy the esteem of knowing, you have shown up and have given more than most can understand. You stayed. You refused the urge to retaliate and to run from what is. You stood, upright(mostly) with open arms and hands, asking begging “What can we do …

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

Saying Ouch

Santa surprised us by delivering a day early.  Boys received what must surely complete our collection of all the latest nerf artillery.  The Mega-Mastadon unloads a full round of 24 sausage sized bullets at high speed.  My lil SPD is unaffected by high impact to his skin.  Seriously, he had second degree burns as a toddler and barely …

Acceptance, addiction, dirty secrets, disloyalty, Faith, home design- home wrecker, Intimacy, J Catherine ghoneim Whitney, mental health issues, Musings, Self-Love

AMEN

On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 2:36 PM, <c(my sister cc’d my mother)> wrote: amen C On Thu, Dec 15, 2016 at 12:59 PM, <m> wrote:  Dear M, I don’t know how many times we can tell you directly and indirectly, that the only problem is you. You have always been the impossible.   When people …

Musings

If you can’t convince them, confuse them

In between wrapping gifts and singing along to Country Christmas, I am taken down by the grief of my sister and my mother, the reality of how they smash and grab– seizing what they want, as they like.  I received the email below, following my direct request to postpone one Sunday dinner– until WE resolve some tensions.  Much Love, Magda …