Letter To Self

December 26,2016
Dear Self,

Re: the Matter of Your Female Progenitor and Sibling:

Enjoy the esteem of knowing, you have shown up and have given more than most can understand. You stayed. You refused the urge to retaliate and to run from what is. You stood, upright(mostly) with open arms and hands, asking begging “What can we do to improve things?” Those are behaviors of a wholesome badAss 100%.  You showed up for your family and yourself-resisting the invitation to the war they waged. They needed for you to participate in the drama and you felt the call—and resisted.  Fk yeh!

Kind and loving– are ways of being, not just ways of feeling. There is no gold star for responding favorably to having people, places, and things be as one wishes.   Kind and Loving people are not selectively kind and loving.  Your family treats you unkindly when you do not comply.   You are human and sensitive and seriously–you  just had your emotional ass kicked, while family members observed and said nothing or cheered.

When people come after you and what is important to you– for expressing your needs and limits, it is not because your needs an limits are in-valid or insignificant. Their view is that you are invalid and insignificant.    You left their calls to battle unattended.  Win Win win!  This is the win!  Bittersweet–which I suppose, is better than just plain bitter.  You’ve got this.  Who needs people like this to celebrate with?

I love you!
You are loved—look around you!  Celebrate the love in your life and let the universe handle the rest.
Go where (love-the action) love is.  Not a moment to waste- waiting or wishing for things to be different.  Difference is:    You have a God and it is not them.

Me