Recovery invites me to have, recognize, and honor boundaries. Boundaries- my spiritual skin. I am naturally permeable and so without them everything gets right in and consumes me-leaving me full with other people’s information and needs, no mental space left for God or even for myself, only a need to invade someone else. My spiritual skin keeps me as me and you as you, protecting us all from the confusion of entanglement. I would describe my affiliations with my ex-husband and my family of origin as entanglements that formed before I developed boundaries– and as a consequence, died natural deaths in response to this spiritual development.
My boundaries are dictated by my needs, limits, responsibilities, and desires. Desire, I may elect to willingly flex. I will forfeit my preference for the sake of compromise with others whom are also inclined. My needs, limits, and responsibilities will be attended to. If I don’t see to them, who will? Our boundaries are our operating systems and when two people’s operating systems are in conflict, that is evidence of incompatibility. I feel blessed to have found someone whose operating system is compatible with my own, even complimentary.
Here: Brene Brown shares on boundary setting.
BEWARE-people struggling with control issues, narcissism or untreated addiction will be agitated by clear boundaries that fail to properly revere them. When they can’t knock down your boundaries, they will try to knock you down. Boundary knocking and people knocking is bad and very assy. THE UPSIDE: Boundaries will keep those who love you in your life and those who love control, well…. your boundaries will fuel their passive aggression and they will require some space to work themselves out.
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