Kindness v. Friendliness

RE: Greg’s kindness:  S2 asked  “Is he that way because his parents are like that?”.  My response segued nicely into expansion of my own “family” experience.  Any excuse at all will do!  Feigning diplomacy, I shared how having grown up with the intense harshness of my childhood home left me lacking any understanding of authentic kindness and gentleness.  I still cannot help but marvel at kind, respectful, gentle natured people.  Intentional and undiscriminating kindness is a rare practice which I strive daily to bring into our focus and existence.  Kindness is in the little things we say and do(or not).  Before recovery, I believed that kindness was reserved for the “worthy”.  In recovery, I have learned we are each worthy of kindness and connection, even at our worst, especially at our worst.  Kindness is always the answer, and has nothing to do with tolerating abuse or being friendly/flattering(gag).   “There is nobody on earth more important than you…and there is nobody on this earth less important than you.”  I find myself repeating this regularly to my children and to myself. 

Kindness fosters safety and connection, no matter the the mood or circumstance.  Acts of authentic kindness serve God, peace, and serenity–can not be implemented for the sake of impression or personal gain, as friendliness often is.  Kindness is its own reward.  It is what the world needs more of.  Kindness, I will do!  Definitely not perfectly or 100% of the time, of course, I am a work in progress.   My boys and I are modeling ourselves after those who live kindness as a way of life-the real badasses.  Kindness is never divisive and is always for paying forward.  I am finally Ok with the fact that friendly is not in my wiring and that- is not a defect.  I help all others, provided it is safe and possible to do so.  I choose kindness.

I love this image and grabbed it off the site it is linked to. I wished I could claim it as my own.

I shall now summon my inner Mari Andrew to see if I can create a fun graph/diagram of kind v. friendly/social.  Maybe a Venn diagram of people or behaviors which are one, both, or neither.   Honestly, I was so uninformed about our recent presidential candidates.  The one thing I knew for certain, was that Trump righteously makes divisive and unkind statements.  His diminishing ways, I find frightening as a quality in leader.  I am not sure where he would fall on my pending graph/diagram.


Much Love,
Magda Gee

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