Month: March 2017

Acceptance, Faith, Musings, Self-Love

Surrender…. or Try Harder, More, Better

Resignation is not acceptance– and with my family of origin, this is especially challenging.  The collective action and message which remain consistent from them: “eff you, you are unworthy and bad– banished, but we will allow your sorry ass if you ever choose to sit at our table with us and accept the blessing of the seat …

Acceptance, Faith, Musings, Self-Love

The Imaginary Letter-The One That Never Comes

How many fucken times will I need to surrender this?  I cannot stand that  she never has to be accountable for her behaviors and words and the wakes of destruction that she unflinchingly justifies and defends as necessary because of something someone else says or does.  She is incapable, not by her own fault but the …

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

Letter to Mother and Sister

I will assume your silence means you need more space at this time.  I look forward to a time where we may each communicate openly and kindly.  I would like to try, when we are all ready.  My willingness to heal and recover any level of trust and connection remains.  I can be patient and …

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

Tools for Life

Coming from a long lines of mental illness and untreated addiction, where every non-happy feeling was perceived as anger and responded to with anger, I picked up some unfortunate coping and operating styles.  This wall of tools is the perfect metaphor for the tools for life before and now, with recovery.  The left side needs little explanation. The …

Acceptance, Faith, Intimacy, Musings, Self-Love

An Invitation to Heal-Repair or Release

I am slowly mining gems of peace from the work of reconciling and healing, I must do on my own.  According to Reverend Desmond Tutu; healing and reconciliation do not erase the reality of injuries that occur AND forgiveness is not pretending that what has indeed happened did not happen. “Healing does not draw a veil over the …