Resignation is not acceptance– and with my family of origin, this is especially challenging. The collective action and message which remain consistent from them: “eff you, you are unworthy and bad– banished, but we will allow your sorry ass if you ever choose to sit at our table with us and accept the blessing of the seat we offer.” I just cannot accept that offer….and am failing to extract a better one. My sister insists it is her intent to have our family together for the sake of our mother but her actions have divided us all by 360 degrees. My mother claims to want some family unity in her lifetime but dismisses me at every turn. I do not want to be seated at a table with people who treat me as unworthy of acknowledgment and love. I guess it just hurts. 
Magda Gee
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I trust him in the most deepest blood way and can count on him in all ways. He makes a space for me to feel my intense and full range of emotions-and lose my shit when that is what is needed. Then he reels me back in. We laugh big over the little things, especially ourselves. He is one #wholesomebadass motherfukkuh. #Strong #gentle #confident #humble #wise #unconditionallove #authenticity #acceptance
I will assume your silence means you need more space at this time.
I am slowly mining gems of peace from the work of reconciling and healing, I must do on my own. According to Reverend Desmond Tutu; healing and reconciliation do not erase the reality of injuries that occur AND forgiveness is not pretending that what has indeed happened did not happen. “Healing does not draw a veil over the hurt.” For a lifetime I have longed for honest reckoning– which consistently has been denied/attacked by those whom I relate to by virtue of birth….And no matter the diminishing words and behaviors, I remain willing to reconcile–with them.”