Resignation is not acceptance– and with my family of origin, this is especially challenging. The collective action and message which remain consistent from them: “eff you, you are unworthy and bad– banished, but we will allow your sorry ass if you ever choose to sit at our table with us and accept the blessing of the seat we offer.” I just cannot accept that offer….and am failing to extract a better one. My sister insists it is her intent to have our family together for the sake of our mother but her actions have divided us all by 360 degrees. My mother claims to want some family unity in her lifetime but dismisses me at every turn. I do not want to be seated at a table with people who treat me as unworthy of acknowledgment and love. I guess it just hurts.