How many fucken times will I need to surrender this? I cannot stand that she never has to be accountable for her behaviors and words and the wakes of destruction that she unflinchingly justifies and defends as necessary because of something someone else says or does. She is incapable, not by her own fault but the culture of
our her family. Radical non-forgivers can never own their own unfortunate and damaging choices. No intention of setting things right. Her remaining untouched by her own bad deeds really messes with me. Somehow her refusal to acknowledge her part makes the old me want to step up and own it all as I did in the past. Nobody wants less pain—just a demand to ignore and deny harder and more. Ugh. Writing this letter supplied me with the adrenaline I needed to start this day. Thank you, Jilan! I would move forward in a hot second if we could bring some shared good will into our hearts.
1.5 hours later….still cookin