Let’s Roll-Grappling On and Off the Mats

I am missing the relief from my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes cancelled in honor of the holiday weekend. What happens in there is pure magic. The energy exchange is like nothing else I know. My need to roll today- is intense.  The commitment to honor and humility on those mats is something close to♥ god and religion, for someone like me.  After poor night’s rest I slip into my most unwholesome thinking.   Our family is in distress, or maybe, only I am. Though my mother and sister claim to want to be together, my mother endorses my sister’s justified and covert initiative which fractured our family further…perhaps beyond repair.  So far, the only offering or suggestion has been that I get over it or else.  Apparently, I have no choice as I simply cannot abide a system that allows this, justifies, or protects this sort of behavior.  I cannot accept this without anger and amends.  Both of which I have been informed are unreasonable.  Almost a year ago, I was shunned for asking what was wrong.  The shunning was promptly followed with a covert dinner with my ex and his family.  Really??  Really?  Who does this?  Who accepts this?  Who would not be hurt and angry over this deception and betrayal?