In my family of origin (FOO) it is necessary to label and dismiss anyone who recalls or processes things differently, as a #historicalrevisionist , particularly if the recollection is less favorable or easy than they can manage. Being told collectively that I was not a good narrator of my own experience effed me up. Seriously, whether I was hot, sad, hungry, scared, the validity of my claims was challenged. So, imagine as a child reporting upsets or emotionally and physically painful encounters to those who cant even tolerate a differing basic sensory reality or personal truth. Perhaps we are all historical revisionists, and by breaking the cycle and contact with my #FOO, I am now officially a Future Revisionist. I will not willingly raise my sons in this culture and climate of confusion and fear. I have not been the only one handled in this way. What separates me, is the manner in which I experienced and reacted (failure to tolerate) to having my reality invalidated,judged, and/or punished. The #narcissistsprayer has allowed me to see the pattern which I could either continue or depart from. Growing up with only sick people as a beacon or guide to know what was good and true did not go well for me. The road ahead is long and so much better than the one behind me. Maybe one day, interest in checking the rearview mirror will be as diminished as I have been by this dynamic.
A Narcissist’s Prayer
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.
I am feeling very in sync with badass Danielle Laporte today. Here is a link to the post I just received via email. Check it out!