So, over lunch, I conducted a survey on my sons and their friends, a highly evolved bunch….of course. I asked: “If you were at school and there were only two plates being served for lunch: 1) highly popular but not what you like and 2) an offering of something far less popular, maybe even unusual (They suggested swordfish) which you liked. What do you choose? You would be seated at the table only with others who chose the same food selection as you.” Brilliant response were as follows:
1 claimed : “Whichever there was more of” 1 declared: “Whichever had the highest sugar content” (guess who) 1 stated: Without hesitation; “the food I like” 1 stated: With hesitation; “the food I like”
We refined the terms: The plated meals were equal in portion and sugar content. Each of them, for their own reasons, chose to go with the food they liked.
“I don’t want people to think I like something I don’t” and get this….”It would feel more uncomfortable to be poking at my food unable to eat while everyone chows down, than to sit alone at a table eating food I enjoy. That makes more sense.”
I love these guys. So solid in knowing who they are and what works for them. I cannot imagine what it might have been like as a child, having the mental freedom and encouragement to contemplate my choices safely and then to decide for myself without fear to know and choose what works for me.
They have no idea how badass they are. None. Self-love is the shit. People think we have to teach our children what to think, rather than how to think. These boys have self-esteem and self-love and know how to think for themselves. So wholesome and perfect. Self esteem will protect my sons more than anything else I could offer or teach them about safety.