I have just realized that the same people who demand and extract hugs and demonstrations of physical intimacy of any sort (particularly from children), which are not mutually comfortable or desired—They are the exact same ONES who will cast you out for non compliance. Sick ass conditional love, fraud ! They wish to be in charge of intimacy, inclusion, (exclusion, of course) and an illusion of closeness. Sorry…It doesn’t work that way. Even if you are their mother, sister, aunt…Especially so!
My stomach is knotted as I recall my first date with my now ex(husband) and the hug that I joked to friends, that I did not give but allowed to be extracted…because that is what I learned might help me avoid banishment. LITERALLY, Icky hugs lead to drugs and other unfortunate coping skills ,addiction, self-hate, self loathing, anxiety, depression. Oh—and a loveless marriage.
These people never offer hugs or kindness in time of need, they use hugs for social appearances. Wholesome hugging happens naturally when there is connection. If you have to insist on one, you are rapey. Please seek help. If you have a hug extractor in the lives of your children, please consider encouraging them to practice body autonomy. I found a powerful piece on this issue earlier. No surprise that a large part of the people whom I know to have voted #45 are also hug rapers. Although, my mother did not vote #45, she is definitely guilty of demanding physical intimacy and condemning when rebuffed.
“There is a concept called body autonomy. Its generally considered a human right. Bodily autonomy means a person has control over who or what uses their body, for what, and for how long. Its why you can’t be forced to donate blood, tissue, or organs. Even if you are dead. Even if you’d save or improve 20 lives. It’s why someone can’t touch you, have sex with you, or use your body in any way without your continuous consent.
A fetus is using someone’s body parts. Therefore under bodily autonomy, it is there by permission, not by right. It needs a persons continuous consent. If they deny and withdraw their consent, the pregnant person has the right to remove them from that moment. A fetus is equal in this regard because if I need someone else’s body parts to live, they can also legally deny me their use.
By saying a fetus has a right to someone’s body parts until it’s born, despite the pregnant person’s wishes, you are doing two things.
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