I adore Eddie Murphy and may celebrate later by watching Coming to America or Beverly Hills Cop. Laughter is key and I have found that unless I can be free to cry around you, I will never deeply laugh with you or enjoy or want sex with you. Wholesome laughter, for me, seems the height of intimacy, laughing at things that do not diminish others. While this meme may seem distasteful to some, it is just plain silly, mocking ignorance, itself. I think it would only agitate those deep into being perceived as politically correct, while failing to make the distinction between PC and morally upright. Just saaayin.
Anyhoo-Birthdays have always been difficult, not because I am concerned with my age, but because I have always felt the pressure to suddenly transform into this person that I am not: social, upbeat, grateful for shit I do not want in place of stuff I need, happy to be surrounded by people who show no signs of giving a genuine fuck about me 364, and don’t mind serving me foods I dislike past my dinner time-in honor of me.
What I am grateful for is my ability to laugh and cry with my trusted others for all of the days of the year. I am grateful to have people in my life who truly know and want me, exactly as I am, even the prickly parts.
I hope to not receive weird cards in my mailbox from people who consistently discount my right to serenity and wholeness. Holiday sentiments in that form are unwelcome reminders of all that is not. I have enough of those. #thanksbutnothanks
For my birthday, I have special lunch and dinner plans and I will treat myself well by scheduling my mammogram and annual gyno appt (because having that task ticked off the list will feel freeing), by cleaning my home to the standard I wish for it to be. I have already ordered myself a fancy bra, that promises to fit perfectly and will 
treat myself to a manicure. Recovery teaches me how to practice appropriate self care. It is so unnatural to me, but today, I will do things that are good for me with people who are good for me. I will eat what my body needs when it needs to be fed and I will spend time alone, because my wiring requires that I do so. I will be free from anyone who dares to challenge or judge that.
Because life is both too long and #lifeistooshort for anything other. Happy Birthday to me!
Magda Gee
For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram by clicking the pic- Wholesomebadass. https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/
My recovery and relationship to God and myself matter more to me than any relationship or relationship status to others. I am divorced. I am single. I am choosing authenticity over fear.
Our attitudes are usually conveyed to other people by what we say and do–and how, if the attitudes really reflect what we feel. Gentle actions and soft, courteous words may only counterfeit our true feelings. We may even think we have overcome resentment, self-righteousness and self-pity, but if they are still there inside us, they will in some mysterious way emanate from us and deny what we try to convey by our play-acting.
be unkind to me–and to now involve my ex husband and my children. It is not wholesome. I get that hurt people hurt people—until they fucken decide to stop.
I struggle to relate to anyone asserting they have nothing to recover from. ? Every cell of my being tells me to beware of people claiming that. Usually because they are unwilling to own their dis-ease and therefore likely to offload rather than heal it– and quick to judge and banish those honestly addressing struggle and pain. ⚠️I adore recovery and all people humble enough to do the work. Spiritual recovery—we all lose parts of our spirits and have been injured by someone or something, in ways that we may not understand. Recovery from low self-esteem, low self-worth, people-pleasing, depression, grief, ptsd, abuse, fear of scarcity, unhealthy coping skills, obsessions, sexual abuse, incest leading to addictions to drugs, sex, alcohol, shopping, exercising, eating, staying busy, being right or perfect—all of those “things” are responses to pain. “Healthy striving is said to be diametrically opposing attempts at and need for perfection, which is driven by fear, control, shame, and results in separation. Those are all spiritual maladies for which their are spiritual solutions.” When our focus is on how others perceive us, that is not mental or spiritual wellness, that is brokenness -which tells us look to others to see if we are ok. Trying to guess how others will feel and respond to us can make us overwhelmed, anxious, and very controlling. We are powerless over that. And so long as we think and behave otherwise, we will have difficulty being our true selves and allowing others the same—the birthplace of eggshells. The First Step in any of the fellowships teaches us that we are powerless over people, places and things. And to live otherwise is unmanageability- in the form of tryyyyying to hard all of the time to be feel and make others feel what they do not. It is true insanity. Though many people dedicate a lifetime managing, controlling, and regulating others to avoid dealing with the truth of what they feel, what they have done, and what they do. Below is an excerpt from one of my readers that feels especially relevant. In program, 