People with narcissistic personalities and behaviors often confuse holding a healthy boundary for holding a grudge.
It is prudent,healthy, and fair to openly communicate an unavailability for more of the same diminishing behaviors. ?It is too painful. ALSO-It is unwholesome and unkind to attempt shaming and manipulating victims with sentiments like #getoverit —And believe you,me…I am over IT. Completely. Over feeling like shit because of the divisive things which which I am expected to tolerate. OR–Does “Get over it” actually mean “ You deserve it. Now, get back here for some more.”? The sane and healthy response to that is #no This will typically be met with a statement about MY oversensitivity or a refusal to let go, dwelling on the past. And– that is an unwholesome tactic. It is not possible to judge or shame a mentally healthy and whole person into coming around for disrespect and dis-ease. Letting go of toxic dynamics is good for everyone, but frustrating for those who experience a greater need to feel in charge, than connected. #letthatshitgo I can never have more than I am willing to settle for. By removing what isn’t working, I make room for what can work and possibly develop into a mutually respectful connection. Sick relationships die a natural death in the light of recovery. I remain 100% available for mending and healing the fractures. And there will always be something better to do than suffer unnecessarily. Pain is a part of life, but suffering is optional. So…why white knuckle meals at tables with people who feel fine about harming you? It is a painful but easy choice.
On a similarish note: Holiday(really #allofthedays) Rule number 1: #gowheretheloveis I have some Breaking News:
✨We enjoyed a lil deviation from isolating and introverting and had a beautiful peopley day. Playdate with a new friend. Easter Egg dying, bike-riding, and nerfing with Sweet Greg and his son. Passover with my bestie who is 100% family to us. To witness my boys freely initiating each of member of the #framily, even her parents for Hello and Good-bye hugs is breath-taking. ❤They recognize what wholesome safe love is. My children know??✨And that means —they also know what it is not healthy safe love. ⚠Today, my sons celebrate their first ?Easter, aware that the Easter Bunny ?may sometimes take human form. And they fully understand —you must believe if you want to receive. And believe, they do. Holidays and celebrations are challenging for me,as these occasions are emotional reminders of the sort of hope, faith, and joy which I did not know, as a child. #odaat I am doing holidays differently. ?We are spending time with only those whom, we feel safe,included, and connected, exactly as we are. Happy Easter! Happy Passover! We will enjoy Framily Easter lunch today. ENJOY—-not just attend. ?This holiday has been a #blessed one, unafraid and unashamed, my sons and I gratefully and with glad hearts join those with whom we experience meaningful connection. (aka: in which it is not standard or acceptable to knowingly harm or diminish each other) I love my #FRAMILY ♥Much Love,
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