Every Time I Judge

I used to have immense shame over how I struggled and how I felt, like I was embarrassed for my feelings.  WTF? Difficult feelings were for judging not having or coping with.  And I fruitlessly sought approval from the most emotionally vacant and disapproving. And, I too learned to become disapproving of myself and others, particularly those in struggle, having needs or ideas different from my own, so basically everybody.

We judge when we are afraid.  It is easier to look, point and judge than to look inward and ask, why does that make me so uncomfortable?  By judging and disliking someone, is that proof of their badness and unlikability?  No, it is evidence of an inability to be compassionate and loving.  Behaviors can be bad.  Choices can be bad.  But people are not bad.  Even assholes are just people who cannot yet see the changes they are being called to make.  Is using the word asshole, a sign of judgment?  Probably so.  I am a work in progress.

I do believe that some people are inherently broken and dark hearted and knowingly do harmful things in order to get ahead or to be right and lacking in the ability or will to self reflect and elevate their spiritual presence.  I don’t judge them.  I just give them a lot of space and send them light and love from over here, when I am feeling humble and generous. hahaha.  Again, a work in progress.  The struggle is real.  Assholes are real.  Feelings are real.  Recovery is real—#odaat

Much Love,
Magda Gee

For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram by clicking the pic- Wholesomebadass.

Author: Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am new to the experiences of faith and hope and courage, qualities absent for me in proximity to my family. No Contact has been the way to keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

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