If I really think about it. … I could not have done anything great enough to earn the gift of Sweet Greg’s love. AND there is not a thing I could do to lose it. There are definitely things I could do to make him want space from me, but never to make him want to see me suffer or to leverage my weaknesses and vulnerabilities against me.
One definition of enemy is- someone who wants to see you fail, suffer, be afraid or struggle. Loving people do not choose to cause struggle or suffering for another. Wholesome Love would prevent them from doing so.
I am re-learning love- I ?have definitely done my share of behaving as an enemy. I married and divorced an enemy- maybe because people who claimed to love me also consistently behaved as enemies—justifying with phrases like “serves you right”. So I did the same to others, until I knew better.
I forgive myself for what I did not know as a young adult. What I learned about love, connection, worthiness, lovability—all of it was sick and distorted. I am learning a better way. I am a work in progress.
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