Soul (Rapey) Sister

After lunch, this weekend, at my sister’s home where she fawned over my ex in ways that made even him feel awkward, my boys have reported the continued demands for touches and hugs.  I cannot express clearly enough to my sons that they never have to touch or be touched in ways that feel icky, in order to make someone else happy.  Nor shall they impose themselves on others in this way.  It is not loving, normal, or healthy.

My sister, mother, and their father continue to strongly urge them to hug when they resist.  They are rightfully disturbed by this.  Not only the engaging in physical unwanted touch but the tension they face with their father if they do not gladly oblige.  What does this teach children—to hug and put out on demand?  This turns my stomach and is foul and unsurprising behavior from people who have always touched and taken in ways that were not only unwelcome but damaging.

The soul raping legacy stops here: Keep your needy and dirty paws off my children’s innocent bodies and spirits.  Let them BE.  They do not feel peace and comfort with you.  They do not want to be touched by you and have articulated looking forward to “turning 18 so they can stop being forced” to engage with people who act as if their mother is either unworthy or non-existent….and with people who knowingly divide their parents—while demanding shows of physical intimacy from them.  Ugh.

For those of you who are new to my journey, it is essential to know that I cried to my husband while married about a sister with whom I did not speak for decades and– then we divorced.  She triangulates with him creating discord in coparenting for us, which is unfortunate for our young sons and myself, though not for him.  Anyway, as a mother and woman, I find the behavior unacceptable…especially from someone who is desperate to be seen as pious, ladylike, and sweet.   While confronting them will do nothing, illuminating the truth of what has happened and is happening is needed.  It heals and helps to cope and to share my story with others who have experienced being used and discarded by members of their family, violated:   denied and touched both physically and mentally in ways that were not healthy or wholesome-and then judged for not being gracious processors of the unthinkable. Now, for the rising, we are pulling ourselves up out of a dynamic that could otherwise make the sanest of people lose their shit.  If protecting my children and teaching them boundaries is a crime.  I am guilty AF.  I am ok with that.

Jilan Catherine Ghoneim Whitney.   You have effectively divided my mother from her daughter and any hope of authentic connection with her grandsons.  You have pitted “your nephews’ ” parents against each other, and divide the boys from the truth in their hearts. You have emotionally divided them from your entire family right along with you.  What are you doing?  It is harmful for all, but you and my ex-husband.  Stop dividing people.  You might be winning whatever war or prize you are after, but it is unwholesome and many would benefit from a shift in plans. Please stop yourself.  Forcing people around your table does not translate to  creating love or connection—Seriosuly, you should stop. You know your girls and husband do not feel good about your choices. Check yourself.  You always asked me “Do I look like a wierd desperate dyke?”  I always answered, laughing alternated between no and yes. And the joke was “WDD”  But the truth is, you appear desperate and spiteful unloving, to those who can bare to look. “DSU” 100%-not laughing.  Try re-reading your extortion thanksgiving email of two years ago.  A more well person might have just said “Hi All- Mom can’t travel, can we have Thanksgiving in NC this year?”  Seriously.  

#rape #soulrape #stopit #toxicpeople #narcissist #justsayno #theanswerisalwaysno #noisalwaystheanswer #speakup #sayno #sexualabuse #predator #molestor #desperate #gross