The irreparable damage of having actively engaged my children in schemes of parental alienation and betrayal of their mother, is not a thing, we as a family, have recovered from. My decimation continues to affect everyday life, in unhopeful ways.
The things which were done were the acts of an enemy—Harmful, non-innocent, and non-benevolent. And the effects and reminders are toxic and lingering. As it was intended, it was a total knock out.
Getting away with a thing, makes it no less evil or fucked up. A (claimed) intention does not mitigate the impact.
I am examining the difference between truth (factual correctness) and honesty. The manipulation of factual accuracy within carefully curated statements to be deliberately incomplete and misleading. Deceptive. Destabilizing. The opposite of how intentionally honest people communicate. I am noticing how those who need to appear right, happy, and easy breezy are prone to this manner of presenting.
I am doing my best to record things which I have experienced, exactly as I remember them. I believe that my healing has value, more so when shared.
Note:
The ongoing rupture with no vision for repair is difficult to live with. I am learning (but not yet accepting) in therapy that in order to heal, I must let go of the fantasy of a shared healing and reparitive experience.
