Me to S1, who is losing his shit over irritating behavior of S2: S1, Is it possible you are over re-acting? S2 is being insensitive, AND maybe your reaction could be less intense?
S1: It is possible.
We are learning to gradually feel and allow our feelings come instead of going straight to escalation. I relate and am not unaware of how much abusers can get away with when their target’s over-the-top reaction steals all attention away from any unfairness which is taking place. Saying “ouch” or “stop” incorrectly comes with a big ticket.
S1: Mommy, What will you make for dinner tonight?
Me: How about grilled shrimp?
S1 with genuine joy in his voice: Yay. Your shrimp are tasty! Are they the large or the small ones?
Me: Large, of course
S1: Sigh of peace♥
I treasure his choice of the word “tasty”. His uniqueness and innocence are brilliant!
Before school, Me to S2: Time to brush teeth
Me, 15 minutes later, teeth still unbrushed: How is that tooth-brushing going? (Translation AYFKM-do it already)
S2: I am still processing.
Me: Brush your
effing teeth. NOW.
Kills me. Each day, when I remember to stay present, I am better able to focus on their innocence and just be love, no matter what. And when I am deep into future worries and rehearsals or in the past rehashing and regretting, I miss out on much of their magic. I love waking them gently in the morning and reading them to sleep. That they love it too makes my heart feel something like achey, though maybe not best word. It is just immense and miraculous-perhaps joy. My sons are 100% Wholesome and Badass. Courageous, Honest, Caring, Faithful, and funny as shit!
For shorter, more frequent and fun posts, connect with me on Instagram by clicking the pic- Wholesomebadass. https://www.instagram.com/wholesomebadass/