“A whole family is one in which each member can bring her full self to the table knowing that she will always be both held and…
“Any time a small child gets labeled and referred to by a parent as too much or bad, that child/baby is actually being handed the…
While there is no right way to do a wrong thing, there are countless wrong ways to do a right thing. Today, I am keenly…
I would not have chosen the things which have harmed me but am grateful and proud of how I am allowing myself to be shaped…
So, before divorce and finally sweet Greg, I had experienced sex as an act necessary to make a relationship less shitty (or as a thing…
So one of my sons has some serious skills when it comes to dog whistling and gaslighting and boy am I grateful I get to…
Who in your life held you in unconditional high regard and rooted for you, ride or die 24-7-365? Who in your life consistently instilled messages…
I came to view punishment and shame as logical/natural consequences to being different displeasing. Great and collective effort was dedicated to reducing me to a…
CPTSD often occurs as a result of being made to feel unsafe because of your identity. Feeling powerless to change who and how I was,…
Ruminating (ok, obsessing) on the concept of grace and how I feel nearly frantic (obvi) that my boys may not learn to value grace, as…
I created this blog to discover(through reflection an sharing) and reclaim all of parts of myself which had been erased– or failed to develop as…
Love Enjoy Need My sons Tattoos Safe Solitude Sweet Greg Tacos Kindness Favorite(my bff) Tiramisu Safe Laughter Animals Books Safe Connection The Beach Yardwork Reading…
Ok, I have no experience within those kind of systems. My lived family expereince falls outside any of the categories of healthy, healing, loving. How…
My inability to authentically love and be good and loyal to you was proof only of the work I needed to do on myself. YOU…
My homework from therapy was to write a letter to myself of what I would want my mother to say to me, what I would…
In my family of origin and then later my mirror image marriage, assertive direct voicing of my own need, preference, or boundary was met with…
I am working to change learned & damaging behaviors and reactions for which I am always apologizing. The work part means healing my wounds, which…
So it seems like juuuuusssst maybe the key to living a peaceful and meaningful existence- is in learning how to recover from difficult people, events,…
I cannot change my past, but I can allow myself to be changed by it. In recovery, self-reflection and growth, for me, have each become…
The message was consistent, from my family of origin and in my marriage–that my experiences, needs, desires, concerns were invalid, inadmissible, troublesome. When (99.9% of…
Qualities which I treasure, not like I am compelled to get to know or call a person a friend, or enter into a relationship, just…
Any form of antihistamine, the smallest dose results, for me, in emotionally violent nightmares. Even antihistamine eye drops, which seems unreasonable, since they are not…
When I mentioned to Sweet Greg last weekend how uncomfortable I am with the 25 extra pounds I have been carrying for the last 4…
Why I Did IT Why did I marry a man who made me feel unsafe, unlovable, unworthy of comfort or acknowledgment? Because it was the…
As I watch and try to untangle and make sense of what is happening, I see how those who need to feel admired will frequently…
To the people who were older and on whom I relied to teach me about love, trust, and connection: The messaging that your encampment in…
From our first email(we met online),phone call, and meeting and all of the days that followed, I felt on edge and scared. And that was…
I see now how my ability to develop or pursue creativity or ambition of any sort, was stunted. I became crazed by my need for…
There are folks (those who are perfect and infallible- the blamers, accusers, hustlers, takers, the entitled, and delusional) unable to to say or think any…
I am never wrong, out of line, erring in judgment, lacking in kindness, patience, grace. It is ill advised to suggest otherwise. Nor am I…
So, the boys’ father is especially manic now that he has found a woman to claim a WE with. Whatever. On my boys’ weekends with…
As I continually have opportunities to PRACTICE detachment, using my recovery tools and skills, it feels only right to share tips (just the tip-hahaha) for…
As a child, everything, for me, became a source of shame, because nothing about our family,home,lives was normal or normalized. It was directly communicated that…
If I really think about it. …I could not have done anything great enough to earn the gift of Sweet Greg’s love. AND there is…
The neuorlogists office called regarding MRI of brain and spine- results of scan: Normal- at least no MS. I will request a second pair of…
I worried that R would righteously skip the MRI and also not tell me. I checked location services and saw the O was home while…
R: I saw my girlfriend last night and she just learned she was exposed to Covid at work yesterday. I have already dropped O off…
We live in a nice, cute & safe home, which I can afford. My boys are able bodied and minded and excellent in many ways.…
Imagine a struggling child (or really any person) whose parent, in no uncertain terms, communicates how: “Nobody can or wants to relate or even to…
In the past month: **My boys’ father met a woman, requiring him to stay out late on school nights (past 10 and even 11) leaving my…
I long desperately (as I do most things) for my boys to desire and believe in the best for each other (in time, I get…
How have I provided good input for my children? Who, in my child’s life is a reliable source for good input (consistently kind, considerate, trustworthy, loyal,…
