Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

What I thought was intimacy, compatibility, and chemistry sometimes turned out to be intensity. Being made to feel unusually seen, wanted, and chosen could pull me in quickly, and the shifts between closeness and distance could leave me trying to understand what had changed and wanting the earlier version back.

Read more about the article Unraveling and Rebuilding
Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

Unraveling and Rebuilding

This past month broke me open. I ended a relationship I cared deeply about. COVID knocked me all the way down—but gave me sleep like I’ve never had. My house fell apart, my body’s adjusting to a new pain management protocol, and my heart’s hurting most of all—especially as I try to break toxic family patterns with my son, who sees me as always wrong and unworthy. I’m still showing up. But I’m also starting to wonder what it would…

Comments Off on Unraveling and Rebuilding
April 10, 2025
Read more about the article Harm Without Malice
Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

Harm Without Malice

Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 7 of 32,000,000) Reconciling Harm Without Malice I feel like the absence of malice has to count for something. I truly believe this man is a highly empathic, loving soul. I think the idea that he has caused pain—pain he cannot magically make disappear or convince the hurt person that it isn’t real and if it is, it is not due to his intentions or actual choices—is deeply upsetting…

Comments Off on Harm Without Malice
March 21, 2025
Read more about the article Love Bombing: Lies Before Hello
Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

Love Bombing: Lies Before Hello

Love Bombed: My Story of Worship, Betrayal, and No Contact (Part 6 of 32,000,000) The Story He Told Me When we met, I was deeply moved. How he soldiered through the last 13 years of his 30-year marriage - cold and disconnected—no affection, no gratitude, no shared experiences. He spoke of serving well and faithfully as a parent, provider, and fixer, but never feeling like a true partner. And realized he needed more. I was the more. Before me, he…

Comments Off on Love Bombing: Lies Before Hello
March 20, 2025
Read more about the article I Feel You—literally
Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

I Feel You—literally

Yesterday at the vet for routine procedures, there was a man, with his very old and loved, black cocker spaniel neatly bundled in a blanket with only a grayed  muzzle and one yummy little paw poking out. He seemed serene, almost smiling.  Hopefully and foolishly and unhelpfully--I asked, “Will he be ok?” and he shook his head No. Without skipping a beat, I crumbled.  My tears streamed without consent and I apologized. (With my relatives, I learned to apologize for sensitivity, difficult feelings,…

Comments Off on I Feel You—literally
April 13, 2019