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Absolute Authenticity Has Its Price

self-loveMy commitment to living, loving, serving, and feeling with my whole heart is separating me from historical relations which require that I stay on script and come on cue.  It feels as though it I am consistently admonished:  “Fuck you for going off script! Who do you think you are?”  Those words not spoken, but the message is clear.

I may not fully yet know who I am.  But I do know—that I am worthy of love and kindness, which prevents me from staying on the script.  #Sorrynotsorry.

I will take my cues from and keep close to the courageous, humble, and vulnerable.  For only theirs are opinions to be considered.   Owning without apology,  all of who they are, holding an expectation that I do the same.  This is not for everyone….but definitely the badAsses.  Wholesome BadAsses-thriving together in expansion; mine, yours–contraction will. not. do.

 

Published by Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

One Reply to “Absolute Authenticity Has Its Price”

  1. Good. Then mute the sound on your mother and look, really LOOK at her behavior: Hold that up against your history with her.
    Illuminating, I assure you.

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