I am seeking healing in the form of a way to channel all of this old information and energy out of me, so that it doesn’t continue backfiring, making me sicker, sadder, and more afraid.

What I long for is a sense of being included, of being called in- to my own life, a community and family. And also to become sovereign – to belong to and take ownership over myself and achieve wholeness and wellness.

In both my family of origin and my marriage, I felt, at once, invisible and like a spectacle. My needs of no significance and simultaneously outrageous and responsible for all things bad.

Within each of those systems, I experienced was feeling simultaneously confined and unmoored—never held, never free. Lost.