Addiction- A perfectly normal response to unhealed, unacknowledged, unsupported, long-term, ongoing trauma.
Trauma is an experience that overwhelms our capacity to process and integrate what is happening.
Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you. Gossip is saying behind their back what you would not say to their face. Flattery is saying to their face what you would not say behind their back. Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around. Gossiping and lying go hand in hand. ****Leaking someone's private details by beginning your share with "I am so concerned that....." is dirty and unwholesome. Still gossip.…
Have you known a person who can not see or admit when they have done harm by their words, choices, or actions? They tend to apologize profusely for circumstantial things that are either benign or out of their control--but not for their actual choices. The term Sociopath refers to a person without conscience. That seems a bit harsh as I do enjoy some people (but do not necessarily trust) who literally cannot acknowledge, apologize for, or correct harmful behaviors. I…
When possible, I now know to abstain from people whose words, actions, and proclaimed values are not aligned, those folks are not for me, even if we are married, have children, or are related by blood. This- is acceptance--acceptance of my needs and the choices of others. I do not have to reject them or myself. While I cannot change a person OR my needs, I have learned to practice boundaries which allow me to care for myself, through limited…
I struggled mightily, since my earliest days. My formative experience strongly suggested my defectiveness as the cause, willfully imposing, as only an asshole would, on those whom I counted on to comfort and nurture and provide for me. The list of things over which I struggle(d) is too great to begin. Life was scary, confusing, and seemingly impossible. I was pierced by anxiety and depression from my deep knowing that I would struggle and that trouble and shame were guaranteed to follow. What a…
