Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Magda’s Progression: Bottom Level—Cleared. ✅*

Food, shelter, clothing. Check, check, check.

But I was starved for affection, acceptance, and the security of belonging.

After years of therapy, recovery work, and training in child development, I sense that my pervasive distress came from a genuine need for affection, acceptance, and the security of belonging. I’m no psychic, but I’d bet if you asked anyone I’m genetically linked to, they’d tell you the problem was that I was a selfish, ungrateful PITA.

How the fuck was I supposed to grow into anything promising when the requirement was to become less—or else?

I was fortunate in what I had, and deeply affected by what I didn’t.

In my 40s, when I found recovery, I learned to practice gratitude. Not portray it.

And all the gratitude in the world couldn’t substitute for the nurturing and secure bonding I needed to develop emotional stability and maturity.

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* Maslow’s hierarchy of needs identifies how human needs progress from basic survival and safety to love, belonging, esteem, and ultimately self-actualization (reaching one’s potential). Unmet needs can inhibit that progression. Remaining in survival mode can keep us caught in cycles of stress, anxiety, and reactivity.