September 2026 - Wholesome Badass

Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

How did I learn to convert other people’s behavior into evidence about me?

Somewhere along the way, I learned to convert what other people believed, said, or did into information about me rather than data about them. And the new learning may be: I can register other's behavior as data. I can be deeply hurt by it. I can acknowledge what it means for the relationship. But I do not have to convert it into a verdict about myself. For a long time, I accepted the premise that other people’s hurtful behavior was…

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September 3, 2026

Read more about the article When Dysregulation Gets Mistaken for Being Difficult

Overstimulation can look like anger, but it isn’t. This is a reminder that sometimes reactions are about sensory and emotional overwhelm, not intention or hostility.

Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

When Dysregulation Gets Mistaken for Being Difficult

I do not seem naturally wired to preserve "harmony" by pretending not to see what I see and not feel what I feel. It is not as if everyone is having roughly the same experience and others make the more agreeable decision to go with the flow while I make the objectionable decision to diverge, which gets me branded not as divergent but deviant. Difficult to govern gets conflated with untrustworthy and unworthy. Not a team player. I simply cannot…

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September 2, 2026