Magda Gee, Author at Wholesome Badass

Faithful Living in 2017- Day 3

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:January 5, 2017
Post category:Faith Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

Day 3 of praying morning and night—Prayyyyying like crazy for help to elevate my thinking and my faith and giving thanks for what is. So far-- three progressively much better days! Fitness,…

A New Day-New Strengths

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:January 2, 2017
Post category:Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

Mary Karr-- 100% Badass- courageously voicing what most dare not admit and rather not hear. Enjoying her narration of her memoir, Lit. Feeling giddy and motivated by her first, angry, tight lipped prayer: "Higher Power-where the fuck have…

2017 Best Practices for Self-Love

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:January 1, 2017
Post category:Acceptance Faith Intimacy Self-Love Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

While grubbing Greg’s tasty taco/nacho “NYE dinner” – for no good reason, I clicked an email notification from my mother, a generous re-offering that I “get over it and we can be a family”. I am over it, just intentionally unavailable for more. Why isn’t it, instead, my older sister’s task to stop saying and doing harmful and divisive things OR to just apologize for losing her shit AT me-so we can BE A FAMILY? Why ask why? Yawn. Why are you still on this topic? Let it go, M. Get back to Greg and your paper-plated tacos. Your mother and sister are not interested in what you feel or need. You need to start a new year , already. Wake me when something actually changes. (more…)

I Choose to Share, Heal, Expand-I Write the Ending

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:December 29, 2016
Post category:Acceptance Faith Intimacy Self-Love Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

When a person touches us and it feels wrong, IT IS. 100% unacceptable– to be touched in ways that feel yucky, unwanted, unwholesome. IT happening, is the beginning. After the moment passes, the wreckage persists- governing all that will follow. My downward spiral continued until…. I realized I could no longer continue suffering, struggling, thinking, fearing as I had for decades. The Gift Of Desperation— 100% clarity– IT(the residual insanity) shall no longer be denied or allowed to continue. GOD and faith replaced fear and shame, as my new navigational tools. Today, I am led by Good Orderly Direction.

Being unable at the time to identify and articulate confusing encounters with my older sister (and later, others), resulted in incomprehensible demoralization. I became “inexplicably” hysterical while she remained artfully buttoned up. And from there it unfolded. The impossible girl who can’t cope and the seemingly unruffled older sister, going along as if her only real issue is her troubling sister. She scored a shit-load of traction off of my hysteria. In fact, it ~~saved~~ ~~defined~~ elevated her. The dynamic made me want to disappear- to which I dedicated impressive efforts. I used geography, alcohol, drugs, men, men on drugs, food-lots of food, no food.

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