Personal reflections on the painful experience of being divided from my children, and the complex family dynamics, grief, and confusion of ongoing loss.

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When pain hits and no one is there to hold you—living with chronic pain, anxiety, and the weight of being unsupported.

The Pain from the Pain

Today, my back hurts—badly. But the pain itself is only the beginning. Almost immediately, I feel panic. That’s my second skin, my automatic response to discomfort: fear. Not just fear…

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