Imagine a struggling child—or really any person—whose parent communicates, in no uncertain terms:
“Nobody can or wants to relate to you or help build a bridge to where you are.”
Subtext: You are bad and alone. By your own defectiveness and doing, you are on the wrong side of the gap that separates you from us—the royal we.
It is up to you, alone, to fix it. Or deny it. Or hide it. Or pay the price.
But we will gladly welcome you once you have corrected your perceptions and feelings. We wish you the best, though.
Literally, this is how it was. And this is how it is for my son.
His crime: feeling too much and failing to mask it for his King Baby of a father.
What kind of people actively convey the message, “You are unworthy, hopeless, and alone”?
The broken kind. With god-complexes. Robbers of trust, hope, faith, self-love, dignity, and self-esteem.
This must stop.
Parents—and good humans—build relational bridges, not walls, for children.
And if you cannot be a faithful ally for your child in this way, get help for yourself. You are the problem.
Just ew. Yikes. Stop.
A continuing rant: Why expect decency from those who repeatedly show they are incapable of basic, unearned kindness, self-reflection, adjustment, humility, or nurturing?
Same people. Always the victim or the hero.
I am firmly back at Step Zero.
Thank God I have twelve steps to guide me out, once I am in enough pain to become sufficiently willing.
