Blame-Shifting, Gaslighting, Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

Harmful behavior converted into evidence about someone else’s character. Blame-shifting, gaslighting, triangulation, smear campaigns, distortion, invalidation, selective accountability, and relational dynamics where reality gets outranked by narrative.

Blame-Shifting, Gaslighting, Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

Independence Day 2017- Freedom from ……..

Waking up kid-free, people free, day off, with only my dogs and an invitation to join trusted others without a requirement to do so is niiiice. The fact is I need lots of people-free time to recover. Not to recover from the people I love(ok, well maybe a little from them) but to recover so that I have something good to give them, not just my 48 years of fatigue. I have been learning about trauma. A reality that is taboo, too obscene and scandalous to speak of, yet honest dialog is essential for healing, no matter how many decades have since passed. Time does not heal shit. Truth does. The knowledge of our experience is stored in our bodies. (more…)

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July 4, 2017
Blame-Shifting, Gaslighting, Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

Mindful Parenting

Were my parents horrible?  We were a horrible fit. Being less sensitive, more concerned with pleasing them may have helped. Instead, I sought gracelessly, if not pathetically, a quiet gentle place, low sensory input food and comfort, in massive quantities, along with compassion, and nurturing from those responsible for me. And, overall, it was an effing disaster.  100%  I am not a disaster.  That situation was is a disaster. Alienation from family goes back as early as I can remember-…

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June 30, 2017
Blame-Shifting, Gaslighting, Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

Historical Revisionist–Future Revisionist

In my family of origin (FOO) it is necessary to label and dismiss anyone who recalls or processes things differently, as a #historicalrevisionist , particularly if the recollection is less favorable or easy than they can manage. Being told collectively that I was not a good narrator of my own experience effed me up. Seriously, whether I was hot, sad, hungry, scared, the validity of my claims was challenged. So, imagine as a child reporting upsets or emotionally and physically painful encounters to…

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June 6, 2017
Blame-Shifting, Gaslighting, Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

The Day You Were Born

Birthday sentiments to my female sibling who believes that being grossed out by sex is the same as being a lady. And who speaks of being phobed about by lesbians(a-hem) and worries constantly that she looks like one. I found the perfect card for you. Also, Thank you for getting born.  If not for you, and wanting you to love ?me so badly, I would never have married someone just like you??And I would not have my two sons.   (more…)

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June 1, 2017