Wholesome Badass

A Work in Progress — Healing from All the Things​

Making Sense of Life Through Patterns

A warmly lit room with an open closet, hanging clothes, photographs, books, keepsakes, boxes, and a ceramic mug surrounding a scattered pile of personal belongings. The image includes the quote, "Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know," by Pema Chödrön.

With all of the therapy, writing, reading, reflection, and somatic work, a lot is coming up for me.

Memories.

Patterns.

Correlations that I had not previously made.

I am finding that this process is much less like the discovery of something new and much more like noticing something that has been there all along. I would describe it as so much stuff from the past lying in a tangled heap on a closet floor, too overwhelming to tackle or ignore. Slowly, I am making order of it, identifying items and events, and putting them in their places. The tangled mess shrinks, and the grip of it all is loosening.

I am also discovering that memory is a strange thing. I don’t trust every detail, every conversation, or every interpretation. But I do trust patterns, especially those that repeat themselves in what seems like perpetuity.

I am trying very hard to engage this with humility, admitting my blind spots. I recognize that other people have had different experiences and interpretations.

I can’t know intent or motivation, but only I can name the impact they have had on me.

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part– to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.