Children-Make Them Feel Loved
Tension persists as my boys’ father, actively defies our legally binding custodial settlement. Feeling even more above the law, now cozy with my sister(married to a judge). My ex’s continued withholding information regarding changes by him for plans with our boys during my scheduled time, as well as relevant health information is hostile. He seems hungry for a reaction, a lecture, or snarky comment by me. Not happening. I may however, say, in front of our children, 
“Hey, when making plans for the boys during their week with me, please talk to me about it first. ” #kthanksbye. The reason for saying it in front of them is so they may witness that what I say about him is what I will say to him, alignment of my words, actions, and principles!!! This is recovery and progress for which I feel immensely proud. From what I have read, the abuse that follows having a clear and sane boundary is standard reaction by those affected with NPD and untreated addiction issues. In my FOO and marriage, making a clear request or statement of my limits was always the beginning of a cold war. (more…)
connection, wholeness, peace, and kindness of people who value me. I no longer doubt and dislike myself enough to subject myself to the painful brand of love-and I have for now stopped begging for it to be different, with my family of origin. Without self-love, I was willing to come around, to dine with people who name call and behave in ways which are diminishing to me- creating unnecessary hardship and loss of innocence for my children. I realize how I came to marry my children’s father, emotionally and morally vacant, concerned primarily with appearances. Not knowing what being loved and nurtured felt like, I chose more of what I knew. As I have recovered; learned what it means to offer, receive, and welcome wholesome love and nurturing, I no longer tolerate or take blame for others whose behaviors and words I experience as foul.