How a Narrative Protects Predatory Behavior The Branding Becomes the Lens I am recognizing something in real time: the story about someone can matter more than what they actually say and do. When someone is characterized unfavorably by a person
The Alchemy of the Unexitable Loop: Someone behaves toward you in bullying, degrading, diminishing, or disruptive ways, then denies it or explains it as a consequence of who you are. Literally: they turn their own behavior into evidence against you. I
I came into the family as the youngest, with a tightly wound nervous system and a way of taking in the world that was unusually sensitive—to sensory and emotional input, even chemical sensitivity to basic food ingredients. What I recognize
Whatever is said or believed about me does not change what was said and done. I keep coming back to the possibility that the golden child can occupy the position of a protected abuser. So much of my childhood was
In 2008, I visited North Carolina for a therapy session with my mother and sister. It went poorly. Tragically. Since, we each showed up with the intent to assess only my behaviors and personality. I miscarried. And that was the
At a very tense Mother’s Day gathering in 2016, I learned that my niece’s graduation was less than four weeks away and on the same night as a concert I had already committed to. The tickets had been a Valentine’s
Something does not become untrue because somebody more influential tells the story differently. I have spent a lot of my life attempting to reconcile the version of events that prevailed with my lived experience. Influence seems to determine which version
I’ve been thinking about my ability to participate safely in relationships which are non-essential and technically intended as sources of safe, healthy connection. Some discord is guaranteed. But sustained and avoided discord is too much for my nervous system. I