The patterns I still carry, the ways old experiences can show up in the present, and my effort to sort out what I am remembering from what is actually happening now. Recovery, pattern recognition, regulation, and slowly gathering new evidence.
YOur work is not to change who you are. You are not too much. Word Porn
In the past month: My boys’ father met a woman, requiring him to stay out late on school nights—past 10 and even 11—leaving the boys home alone to go to bed, not knowing when he might return. He only has them every other week. This is neither necessary nor ok. He whisked them away on a last-minute weekend trip to the mountains to meet her, with everyone staying in the same house. My older son’s continuing numbness in his legs…
How have I provided good input for my children? Who, in my child’s life, is a reliable source of good input—consistently kind, considerate, trustworthy, loyal, present, protective, loving—intentionally contributing to trust, hope, belonging, and confidence? When it is communicated that what a child thinks, experiences, sees, needs, or feels is not real or valued, this is bad input. Continual bad input from people in authority compromises the development of creativity, confidence, hope, and the ability to persevere and connect in…
+++Love is inconvenient, often difficult. And IT is much more than enjoying, being attached, attracted to or glad for a thing. Love is a verb- evidenced by behavior that is benevolent, kind, accepting(of the innate value we each have as humans). Hate is also a verb--- more serious than disliking a thing the most amount. To hate, is to desire tearing down and destroying. I believe both love and/or hate are first introduced and learned at home. AND can be unlearned later,…
My personality was not a good fit for my mother and since she had not ever considered choosing a thing(including me) which could rarely please or satisfy her- I think this made her feel bad about herself (shame) which she could not effectively handle and so she off loaded that to me-- to deal with. I think her inability to get me to be how and who she wanted (more convenient- less uncomfortable- easier) was upsetting to her and self reflection…
