Yearly Archives: 2026

Read more about the article How did I learn to convert other people’s behavior into evidence about me?
Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

How did I learn to convert other people’s behavior into evidence about me?

Somewhere along the way, I learned to convert what other people believed, said, or did into information about me rather than data about them. And the new learning may be: I can register other's behavior as data. I can be deeply hurt by it. I can acknowledge what it means for the relationship. But I do not have to convert it into a verdict about myself. For a long time, I accepted the premise that other people’s hurtful behavior was…

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September 3, 2026
Read more about the article When Dysregulation Gets Mistaken for Being Difficult
Overstimulation can look like anger, but it isn’t. This is a reminder that sometimes reactions are about sensory and emotional overwhelm, not intention or hostility.
Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

When Dysregulation Gets Mistaken for Being Difficult

I do not seem naturally wired to preserve "harmony" by pretending not to see what I see and not feel what I feel. It is not as if everyone is having roughly the same experience and others make the more agreeable decision to go with the flow while I make the objectionable decision to diverge, which gets me branded not as divergent but deviant. Difficult to govern gets conflated with untrustworthy and unworthy. Not a team player. I simply cannot…

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September 2, 2026
Read more about the article When the Story About You Outranks What Actually Happened
Sometimes the story looks sweet, safe, and perfectly acceptable — even when something dangerous is sitting right in the middle of it.
Family Scapegoating & Golden Child Dynamics

When the Story About You Outranks What Actually Happened

How a Narrative Protects Predatory Behavior The Branding Becomes the Lens I am recognizing something in real time: the story about someone can matter more than what they actually say and do. When someone is characterized unfavorably by a person of greater status or influence, the language is often directed toward creating a shared lens through which others understand them. That version can serve as the starting assumption. Hierarchy gives it weight. This is the branding. The packaging. And it…

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August 30, 2026
Read more about the article When You’re Blamed for How Someone Treats You
They didn’t burn witches. They burned women.
Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

When You’re Blamed for How Someone Treats You

The Alchemy of the Unexitable Loop: What happens when someone hurts you, then first denies then explains their behavior as a consequence of your personality? Literally.... a person repeatedly blames you for their mistreatment of you. I am wired to sense shifts in energy. I don't mean that in some mystical way, and I don't mean that I am fucking paranoid. I am attuned at a sensory and emotional level to things other people may have the luxury of not noticing.…

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August 30, 2026