2026 - Page 2 of 12 - Wholesome Badass

A prayer for openness, alignment, and a new way forward.

When Your Reaction Becomes More Important Than What Happened

I came into the family as the youngest, with a tightly wound nervous system and a way of taking in the world that was unusually sensitive—to sensory and emotional input, even chemical sensitivity to basic food ingredients. What I recognize is how easily my unbridled and frequent emotional displays of despair could steal the show. Once I was visibly distressed, the distress itself was identified as the only issue. Only in 12-step recovery did I learn to withhold the gift…

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August 26, 2026

Family Scapegoating & Golden Child Dynamics

When Covert Bullying Makes You Look Like the Unstable One

Whatever is said or believed about me does not change what was said and done. I keep coming back to the possibility that the golden child can become a protected abuser. So much of my childhood was lost in the shadow of what happened with my female sibling, older than me by 7 years. Decades later, she came for my children. I am only beginning to recognize the correlation between the two. Not identical acts. A familiar code. She acts.…

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August 25, 2026

Read more about the article Family Betrayal in Plain Sight (repost from 2017)

When every boundary is treated as betrayal, eventually there is no bridge left to cross.

Family Scapegoating & Golden Child Dynamics

Family Betrayal in Plain Sight (repost from 2017)

In 2008, I visited North Carolina for a therapy session with my mother and sister. It went poorly. Tragically. Since, we each showed up with the intent to assess only my behaviors and personality. I miscarried. And that was the least of the devastation. For obvious reasons, I was unable to rally for a neighborhood trick-or-treat parade with my sister and her family. I needed time and space to rest and grieve the tragedy of that session, my family, and…

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August 24, 2026

Read more about the article Why Does A Family Attack the Scapegoat for Trying to Repair the Relationship?

In some families, preserving the system can mean discrediting the person who points out harm. The scapegoat’s experience is often dismissed to maintain control and avoid accountability.

Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

Why Does A Family Attack the Scapegoat for Trying to Repair the Relationship?

Ten years ago, around my son’s birthday, I was already trying to name something I did not yet fully understand. I sent my original email privately to my mother and sister. My sister’s response expanded the conversation to include her husband, her children, my ex-husband, and his sister. I was asking the adults involved to keep their conflict with me separate from my children. Here is how it unfolded. The irony is hard to miss: I was asking for less…

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August 23, 2026