Yearly Archives: 2026

Read more about the article The Logic of Familiarity
A prayer for openness, alignment, and a new way forward.
Love Bombing, Idealization & Intermittent Reinforcement

The Logic of Familiarity

Looking back, I notice how often I gravitated toward people who couldn’t tolerate my pain but expected the world to organize itself around their pleasure. When they were uncomfortable, everyone rushed to soothe them. What’s especially painful is this: humanity was withdrawn from me when I was small and needed it most. There was a kind of protected harm at work. Each time I struggled, my sister’s standing rose, and my mother's case against me grew. Anyone could see how…

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February 7, 2026
Read more about the article Beyond Conflict: Identifying the Patterns of Coercive Control in Family Dynamics
Abuse is often framed as a 'loss of control,' but true loss of control doesn't have an audience. If someone is only abusive when there are no witnesses, they aren't losing control—they are exercising it. This selectivity is the clearest evidence that the behavior is a choice, not a mistake.
Family Scapegoating & Golden Child Dynamics

Beyond Conflict: Identifying the Patterns of Coercive Control in Family Dynamics

Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behavior used to dominate another person and strip away their sense of autonomy. It is not defined by a single violent event, but by a continuous web of intimidation, isolation, and micro-regulation of the victim’s life. When applied to the family unit, this control is often maintained through three primary mechanisms: 1. Scapegoating Scapegoating is the process of blaming one person for the family’s internal problems or the controller’s own failures. The goal: To create…

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February 6, 2026
Read more about the article My Trajectory- The Matthew Effect
A reflection on how deprivation compounds—and how awareness interrupts the cycle.
Trauma, Recovery & Nervous System Patterns

My Trajectory- The Matthew Effect

The Path that Formed Me I didn’t “pick bad people.” I picked familiar nervous systems—people whose emotional vacancy felt like home, because that’s what I learned from the people I loved and needed most. I’m tracing a path laid out long before I understood it. Neurodivergent, highly sensing, physically and emotionally reactive to things others barely notice. My discomfort didn’t fit the acceptable range. It wasn’t seen as different, but as wrong. And the fear of consequences for that discomfort…

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February 3, 2026
Read more about the article When “What Are You So Angry/Upset About?” Isn’t Actually Concern
Visible distress is treated as a failure of character. Composure is mistaken for truth, credibility, and strength.
Family Scapegoating & Golden Child Dynamics

When “What Are You So Angry/Upset About?” Isn’t Actually Concern

I’m finally recognizing how validity gets measured not necessarily by the truth of what’s said, but by the composure of the person saying it. My sister recognized this dynamic early on. As someone deeply sensitive and reactive, I was easy to push. She could use subtle, almost invisible cues—like dog whistles—to trigger me. When I reacted, my distress was visible. She soared, by contrast, appearing calm, composed. The comparison was stark: her unaffectedness made her look right, while my emotional…

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February 1, 2026