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Real consideration is quiet. Engineered concern requires an audience. We shouldn't confuse a calculated performance with a good deed.

The Irony of Weaponized Concern

The Reality of Gossip

Discussing the details of someone else’s life—their hardships, their choices, or how they live—is a fundamentally unwholesome practice. Gossip happens, and we can be honest about that and not pretend that engaging in it is useful, considerate, or kind. 

The “Concerned” Persona

So it is fascinating to witness someone who is known for not being particularly fond of a person take an openly concerned stance in sharing the depth of their worry for that person’s wellness, stability, and functionality.

The energy attempt:  “I’m only saying this because I care…”

Engineered Destabilization

It is a stunning social loophole. Cloaking gossip with empathy, is an attempt to engineer a kind of social undermining while seeking praise for thoughtfulness. If I knew how to do emojis from my Mac- Barfing emoji for sure right fkn here.

The Blind Spot

What is confusing, is how easily bystanders buy the act. How does a person or group look at someone with an obvious grudge or bias, listen to them trade in the unfavorable assessment of another person’s private life, and see a caring soul instead of an invasive, scheming act? Skull and Crossbones emoji here.

The Performance vs. Real Consideration

Genuine care and consideration tend to be quiet and direct and require no recognition. They check in and ask what they can do to help. They honor respect and privacy with discernement and intention. When the “concern” is instead passed around from person to person, it isn’t support—it’s unwholesome gossip disguised as  goodness. It makes you ask “how does a sound person buy into the performance?” Comedy Trgedy mask emoji here.

Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.