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Silence- Not Equal to Peace and Grace

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Silence can indeed be a form of grace and peace.  However, when it is the requirement or expectation by one party for another to be silent, it is oppressive and bullying.  When communication and acknowledgment are withheld, that is passive aggressive, coward bullshit  unwholesome and unloving.

For those with pinched smiles and silent nods striving for a Pollyanna vibe, it is a choice to refrain…but to judge and alienate those with the courage to speak, is nasty…not gracious.  Speaking up in peace and love, especially when awkward or scary, to elevate, is God’s work.  God and love do not demand silence. Can there even be grace without kindness?  Kindness– the energy of love, not a social or friendly posture/persona.

Greg and I enjoy and need silent time, together and apart; the peaceful kind that allows us to recharge…wholesome, not confusing, banishing, or scary.  I am grateful to know the distinction between wholesome silence and the icky controlling silence- my cue to get some space.

 

Published by Magda Gee

I am in a program of recovery for those whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking, drug use, mental illness. I am newly learning faith, hope, and courage, practices not witnessed by me, in my childhood, with my family. Sadly, No Contact, as a last resort, is how I keep safe from diminishing words and actions directed at me. I think I have listened for the last time to how I deserve mistreatment. By holding out for something more wholesome and loving, I have been both banished and demanded to return. I prefer serenity to proximity. I will continue with my program and faith in the best possible outcome, so long as I do my part-- to stalk GOD as if my life depends on it.

4 Replies to “Silence- Not Equal to Peace and Grace”

      1. Throwing my face into someone’s fist – mostly metaphorically, mostly emotionally, mostly stormy emotionally… I did learn to stop that, but what a sssllllloooooowww process. Weeping openly and even theatrically in public. Oh, the agony!

        I was not silent. Now I am silent, though my inner being is shredded, helpless. Kate told me to pray to St. Michael, as he is the Warrior Archangel, and he helps her over the impossible times. I guess he is her HP. I have borrowed him. My own HP tells me I am strong, but then I end up in my room, screaming silently, hopeless. Or perhaps he’s the one who sent me Kate with her friend, St. M. They are doing Step 12 work.

  2. I am learning to stop. But I am tired…can we not just turn the hand from a fist to an open embrace or even a peaceful wave. Magical thinking gets me no-where. Thank you for fabricating confessions of behaving in similar and humiliating ways. “Your Room”–sounds so institutional!
    xo

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