2017 Best Practices for Self-Love
While grubbing Greg’s tasty taco/nacho “NYE dinner” – for no good reason, I clicked an email notification from my mother, a generous re-offering that I “get over it and we can be a family”. I am over it, just intentionally unavailable for more. Why isn’t it, instead, my older sister’s task to stop saying and doing harmful and divisive things OR to just apologize for losing her shit AT me-so we can BE A FAMILY? Why ask why? Yawn. Why are you still on this topic? Let it go, M. Get back to Greg and your paper-plated tacos. Your mother and sister are not interested in what you feel or need. You need to start a new year , already. Wake me when something actually changes. (more…)
When a person touches us and it feels wrong, IT IS. 100% unacceptable– to be touched in ways that feel yucky, unwanted, unwholesome. IT happening, is the beginning. After the moment passes, the wreckage persists- governing all that will follow. My downward spiral continued until…. I realized I could no longer continue suffering, struggling, thinking, fearing as I had for decades. The 
incomprehensible demoralization. I became “inexplicably” hysterical while she remained artfully buttoned up. And from there it unfolded. The impossible girl who can’t cope and the seemingly unruffled older sister, going along as if her only real issue is her troubling sister. She scored a shit-load of traction off of my hysteria. In fact, it 
Dear Mom,
It’s not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. For those of who’ve lost family members to death or estrangement, the holidays are difficult. To cope, some drop from bridges into oncoming traffic while others soldier through with as many drinks or slices of pie as it takes, any number of ways to numb, more socially acceptable than honestly addressing the feelings and behaviors which would be a step toward healing and lasting connection. I stand in solidarity with all who feel weepy, anxious, maybe even ashamed at this time of year. Disconnection, on days in which the calendar and social media are intended as proof of connection, is difficult. I ♥