faith

Love a Promise, Not an Emotion

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When my boys were 5 and 6 years old, after the successive passing of two acquaintances and our family pet-

S2:   Why did they die?

Me: When our bodies grow too tired and weak, our bodies die and we go to Heaven.    

S1:  Does it hurt?

Me:  I don’t think so.  We arrive whole and healthy again in Heaven-a place where all things are good, nobody is sick, mean, afraid or hurting.  In Heaven, we are with those whom we love and who love us.   

S2:  Will King Simon get his eye back?  Me:  Yes, he will have both of his eyes.

S1: Do bad guys go to heaven?

Me:  They do.  Doing bad things is part of their brokenness and in Heaven, they are no longer broken.

S2:  Do we still have to take naps?

Me:  Only when we feel like it.

S1:  Will you will get there before us?

Me:  Typically mommies and daddies go first.

S1:  How will we find you?

Me:  It will be like when I pick you up from school- you are waiting behind the gate and we just find each other.  I will be there.  They were satisfied with that.  So. Am. I.(This makes me cry each time I consider it) (more…)

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Loyalty

Discovering loyalty, which, fingers crossed, will come bundled with learning to forgive betrayal-  is a BIIIIIG part of my journey.  Forgiveness is something I struggle to do the way my family demands grasp.  Or maybe I fully understand it and am ill-at-ease with the fact that my definition  not accepted, by those who do not accept me differs from those who think it means pretending It never happened. Deep sigh. (more…)

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WBA-Terminology

What these words mean to me:

Wholesome-spiritually /principle driven. (In my life, my principles are static-unchanged by my mood or reaction. Mine are those of a 12 Step Fellowship.)  When I am in alignment with my program principles, I am wholesome.

BadAss– Grit, courage and resolve. Strength of character.  When I walk head on, through what I think I cannot manage– with only my courage and faith, I feel BadAss.  When I resist the invitation to jump into the ring, I am a BadAss.  When I say, Sorry that won’t work out, without defense, I am BadAss.  When I revere my Good Orderly Direction more than my concern with another persons’s reaction, I AM A BADASS.

Accepting an uncomfortable truth, an unpleasant fact.  Accepting that there is nothing to be done about it and Just doing the next right thing.  Courage and Faith are the only reasons I have not reacted more to the behaviors and words of my family.

Courage– Facing pain and fear with faith in Good Orderly Direction. (more…)

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