love

I have observed with my sister, my ex, my mother  copious apologizing for circumstances, like a messy home, burnt meat, running late due to traffic, or forgetting to close the door, but NOT for unfair behavior or poor judgment or a plain old error-perhaps innocent, but still damaging.  With them, the most acknowledgment I dare hope for is by solicitation and typically an “OK, I am sorry, move on, already.”  Oh-OK, since that feels all safe and loving. NOT.

Over the weekend, a woman whom I do not know well asked if I would watch her son from 11:30 to 3:30 on Sunday.  I was happy to help another single mom.  At 12:00 when there was no sign or word from them she texted to notify me of her plan change 12:30-4:00.  I said nothing but felt the icky/rapey feeling of someone showing disregard for my time and for me.

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