Wednesday Morning Text

R: I saw my girlfriend last night and she just learned she was exposed to Covid at work yesterday. I have already dropped O off at school I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do?

Magda:  I’m not sure. What I do know is that we cannot disrupt the scheduled MRI this Saturday. Boys should stay with you for the next five days.

Magda: When is she getting tested? If she is positive. You all need to quarantine. She should test immediately. If negative today I will also need confirmation of a negative result in five days before the boys may return here. So please plan to take him for MRI.

R: so the state is OK with him being exposed everyone at school but just not you? And it’s OK with you to take W to an MRI as long as somebody else does it?

Magda: I cannot help that our county is relaxed about masking and protocols. The Imaging center will ask questions about exposure and symptoms and decide how to proceed.

R: this is actually you doing what you want with no logical thought process.

Magda:  I think you may be describing yourself here. Leaving the boys late on school nights as you have been doing.

R:  I assume this was some ridiculous way for you not to approve of what I do with them on my time. They don’t need me catering to them every night. It’s good for them to learn to be more independent. I’m not seeking your trust or approval anymore Maggie. I haven’t been since 2000 I haven’t been since 2010.

Me to myself:   OK—-wtf is even happening?

Magda: OK. Five days with proof of a negative test for Tracey at the end before they come home. You texted me you didn’t know what to do. So now you know.  I choose to avoid unnecessary possible exposure to Covid. 

R:  As you know I meant there (I suspect he meant “their”) school. But hey keep making up random shit that suits you.

Magda:  CDC protocol is not random. You get so unhinged when I have a boundary. Still.

R:  Trying to tell me what I should be doing with them on my time is not a boundary.

R: You criticised what I was doing.

Magda:  In response to your attack on my logic, I suppose I did. My boundary is me protecting myself from possible Corona. And I literally never told you what to do outside of CDC protocol….because you asked.

R:  Keep playing the victim, Maggie.

Magda: LOL emoji.  Duuude, you always believe yourself to be the victim or the hero.  I do not feel victimized, at all.  

R: The bold is a cute touch –laughing emoji.

Magda:  Your anger is something. So Ragey at me when you are inconvenienced by your own choices and consequences. Always trying to punish, shame and blame.

R:  Again, your opinion must be the truth.

Magda: Regarding W’s MRI on Saturday medical imaging centers have mask protocol and will be fine doing the MRI unless he has tested positive, especially since he vaxxed. We don’t wear masks 24/7 around the house which is why the five days before return here. I was happy to take W to MRI. Mary Ann was joining, and Greg was taking O to the trails. None of this is my choice or my doing.

No response.  I sure hope he will take our boy for an mri rather than being too busy feeling something unpleasant- for having chosen to run out late on a school night to go 25 miles away to see a woman he barely knows, because he is frantic- and that did not work out for anyone.   HE TEXTED ME to say he did not know what to do.  I shared CDC protocol and he escalated immediately to combat status.  

This is the type of destabilizing exchange I am accustomed to with both him and my female sibling, WHEN THEY FEEL responsible for anything but their own joy.  Sadly, for my boys, this was a group text.  I need them to see the insanity.  They need to know this is insane and that it is not them.  This is what happens when you challenge or do a thing which makes a narcissist feel criticized or non-perfect.

Totally judging tho: In more than six years, Sweet Greg and I have never left our boys at night, during or past bedtime, for any reason. I did try to beg him once, to sneak over while his son was asleep and he objected and I loved him more for knowing that it was a non-sane idea/plan.

Recovery kept me on track in that exchange with his repeated attempts at diversion with straw man tactics. Non recovery leaves me aching to say unfortunate things to him. But me losing my shit or behaving badly is an example of the thing people were always trying to tell me “about gving or throwing my power away”. Now that I know better, I do better. I am not a victim. I have choices, even if they suck. My boys are the victims, as they have no good options for navigating or avoiding our tension. I bet my sister would smile fondly upon him if she could observe him fighting the same battle in the same ways. Desperate to force me to submission…. two peas in a pod, they are! CatherineGWhitney Jilan Catherine Ghoneim Whitney Fayetteville Academy

Much Love,
Magda Gee

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