So Then

I worried that R would righteously skip the MRI and also not tell me. I checked location services and saw the O was home while W was not and asked O where his brother was. Our younger son informed me that W was on his way to MRI. This is how I get essential info. Sad sad sad for my boys. W texted me to report that he was home from MRI . I am grateful he was able to get the care he desrves and needs.

Sunday made day 5 of the quarantine in which I had requested proof of negative test for R’s new gf of a few weeks, the one he leaves the boys for late at night on school nights, 25 miles away, asserting “it gives them independence”. Our sons literally cannot go outside without his permission and yet he claims that them being in bed at night with nobody close by for them if they need help— is an exercise in independence.

Saturday night we received wintery mix of sleet and snow which continued throughout Sunday. Road advisory for people to stay home until roads warmed, but nope. Below are our Sunday morning texts (with the man who rages that I do only as I like with no logic, the man who waited 6 hours after W’s blackout concussion to get him medical attention, the man who did not tell me O had a URI and then encouraged him to run in cross country race in near triple digit temperatures, leaving him ill with wracking cough lasting more than 3 weeks, during pandemic)

Saturday 9:15 am. Roads frozen. Sleeting and Snowing.

R to M in family text: Maggie, I have urgent care appts for us at 10:45 and will drop boys off after, based on results.

W– private text to me: Dad wont let me go out and play in the snow. Novant closed. Now racing from testing center to drug stores trying to buy home tests.

M to family text: cringey emoji face and “driving conditions”

R to M in family text: O tested positive. Doctor recommends sepearting them. What do you want to do?

M to family text: Ugh. O needs to quarantine in his room at your house and W to remain with you. N95 masks when out of his room. All test again in 5 days and go from there. Link to cdc protocol for Caring for someone at home.

M to family text: So W, R, and Tracy negative?

W: Me and dad negative. Tracy and O positive.

Silence. W prolly taking some heat for transparency and truth. Thank gawd it was O that tested positive because R and O and now Tracy also, like to treat W as the constant problem and hindrance– gaslighty and diminishing him- mostly his father though. Trying to reduce him to a more manageable size.

I am still pretty shook by R’s escalating hostile and aggressive attacks of me, for the things which HE is and does. It is familiar crazy making, gaslighty and communicates: I am coming for you each time I feel inconvenienced or frustrated by your lack of compliance.

I hate this for the boys. What a situation- shitty and totally avoidable. I am certain R is feeling both heroic and victimized by the consequences for his actions. If he would have stayed tf home on Tuesday night, none of this would even be a conversation. Maybe O got it at school and we would have dealt with it here. But, well….it did not go down like that. And I say this for my own sanity—I literally did nothing but claim my right and responsibility to avoid unnecessary exposure to Corona Virus.

RE Narcissists: Anything communicated which fails to endorse, elevate, please, comfort, accommodate- for them- is a call to war. Jilan Catherine Ghoneim Whitney Catherine G Whitney

For anyone whom I was ever harmful to…I hope this relieves or amuses you. I am getting mine. And learning from it, one day at a time.