Today my therapist asked why anyone might want to smear me, cost me my credibility, like why specifically my boys father or my sibling? Because I stood up to them, said no. That is the short answer.
At the root of all smear campaigns is character assassination. Abusers require and expect control, if not reverence, and smear campaigns allow abusers to manage how others perceive both them and their victims- destroying the target’s reputation and undermining them to promote isolation and destabilization- through the use of false, intentionally misleading or incomplete information, or unsubstantiated accusations.
A Narcissist will viciously spread lies and rumors, while casting themselves only as a victim or hero.
Smear campaigns often commence with the appearance of genuine empathy. Those orchestrating the campaign may casually, but frequently and publicly express concern for the target’s well-being, alluding to exhaustion, stress, or personal struggles.
Feigned concern plants a seed of doubt about the target’s competence or mental state. This doubt will be useful later in the campaign.
Malignant narcissists preemptively strike with personal attacks on character. A smeared person, is most likely “guilty” of attempting a clear and direct request or boundary with someone who is, in some way, failing to respect their needs and limitations. Now perceived as a threat or opposition to the toxic person’s sense of power, they are in the cross hairs.
The narcissist will set out to “punish” the target for openly questioning them or communicating opinions and needs which conflict with their own. They hide behind a desire to help or understand and feigned innocence to mask the rage and vindictiveness.
Standard Smear Tactics:
- Smear campaigns often happen as a form of retaliation for speaking out about or questioning offense or unjustness.
The smear campaign is born out of a combination of factors, including entitlement, a need to be right and to be in charge of the narrative, retaining status and standing (making sure that his or her inner hidden shame doesn’t become public), and maintaining control of his or her image. A person high in narcissistic traits curates her or his public persona very carefully: successful, accomplished, and poised is all-important.
- Lies and Distortions: Spread rumors, exaggerations, and lies about the target.
- Use Personal Attacks to Avoid Substance: Attack the target’s character instead of discussing or working to address and resolve the issues at hand.
- Gaslighting: Twist words and create confusion.
- Shift blame: The narcissist will shift the blame onto the target to avoid accountability for their own unfortunate behaviors and reactions.
- Stonewalling: Silent Treatment. Refuse to engage or acknowledge requests to have open dialog about the issue.
