I am practicing saying no to anyone causing needless complexity. Anne Lamott, in a graduation speech, wisely suggested to the graduates: “Refuse to co-operate 
with anyone who is trying to shame you or steal your freedom, your personal and civil liberties, and then smirking about it.”
As my sister likes to say: “AMEN” . Click on AMEN to read more of her spiritual use of this word. I suppose, why this matters is the conflict between her claim to want to be a family, depending on who she is speaking to, and what she is willing to say and do when under the beleif she is communicating excusivley to my mother, who fully supports her in this way of being. Her smear campaign against me coupled with her forged alliance with my ex-husband while offering through pinched smile that I join them for celebrations(OR ELSE) is too much for me. I will totally choose OR ELSE. Always.
Detachment from insanity and abuse is not easy, but it is wholesome, good, right, and 100% Badass. What do you need to detach from, to elevate the quality of your life?
