First off, I will say that yelling and saying FUCK is neither wholesome nor badass. This is a point of departure for me, not my final destination. I am a work in progress…Unlearning and reparenting myself requires revisiting the pain from the past which threatens to haunt the present if I do not identify and unhook from the myths of my childhood experience. (more…)
Hi Friends,
This eCard is fantastic. My discovery of a calm “no”, for my ex and family of origin is new behavior- and can be counted on either to be ignored or to incite war. Dismissal and reprisal are reminders that it is best for me to limit proximity to anyone feeling inclined to diminish or dominate in these ways.
From me, a definitive NO without anger, profanity, fear, or volume is progress. Though apparently, it is confusing for those insistent on always being right — accustomed to provoking me until I lose it and become hysterical, substantiatng my need for unkindness or mental help. No. Nope. Ah,Ah. Ok, sorry that won’t work out but let’s work together for a better arrangement. It is acceptable for people to say No as needed. Honoring boundaries is for BadAsses. It is too much for others.
While striving to honor the authentic voice of who I am, I have realized a profound lack of vision for my life…no goals, other than to just hurt less…to feel and cause less pain. In my family of origin and marriage, my pain was categorized for me in one of three ways:
For each of which, comfort was unavailable. (more…)