I Am Your Biggest Fan- I Am Your Mother
Me to S1, who is losing his shit over irritating behavior of S2: S1, Is it possible you are over re-acting? S2 is being insensitive, AND maybe your reaction could be…
Instead of Focusing on Rejection
Instead of focusing on the most recent rejection by my mother, I will take one small action to creatively claim my living space. This image appeared in a facebook feed for laceandwhishkey. If you click the image, it will take you there. Right now, our home feels to me, a place where we sleep and keep our stuff. I hope to get busy decorating in a way expressive of who I am; what I find attractive, appealing, and comforting. I am only now discovering those parts of myself as I climb out of feeling emotionally/creatively stifled to the point of paralysis.
This one simple accent will transform the energy of my home. Succulents in little black pots. Neutral color. Low maintenance. Simple shapes- appealing, soothing, and doable for someone like myself. Will I do it? Or is this just another example of hoarding good ideas without executing? Perhaps soon I will stage and photograph of the results of my efforts to create comfort and beauty in our house home. (more…)
I Choose to Share, Heal, Expand-I Write the Ending
When a person touches us and it feels wrong, IT IS. 100% unacceptable– to be touched in ways that feel yucky, unwanted, unwholesome. IT happening, is the beginning. After the moment passes, the wreckage persists- governing all that will follow. My downward spiral continued until…. I realized I could no longer continue suffering, struggling, thinking, fearing as I had for decades. The Gift Of Desperation— 100% clarity– IT(the residual insanity) shall no longer be denied or allowed to continue. GOD and faith replaced fear and shame, as my new navigational tools. Today, I am led by Good Orderly Direction.
Being unable at the time to identify and articulate confusing encounters with my older sister (and later, others), resulted in 
incomprehensible demoralization. I became “inexplicably” hysterical while she remained artfully buttoned up. And from there it unfolded. The impossible girl who can’t cope and the seemingly unruffled older sister, going along as if her only real issue is her troubling sister. She scored a shit-load of traction off of my hysteria. In fact, it saved defined elevated her. The dynamic made me want to disappear- to which I dedicated impressive efforts. I used geography, alcohol, drugs, men, men on drugs, food-lots of food, no food.
Inside Jokes and Situational Nicknames
Needy as shit this week, I have been relentless- calling Sweet Greg or peppering him with texts with a word or reference to something hysterically funny, to only the two of…