Fearless Humor–Only a BadAss Would Own this Thinking

We Who Are Your Closest Friends

by Phillip Lopate


we who are

your closest friends

feel the time

has come to tell you

that every Thursday

we have been meeting

as a group

to devise ways

to keep you

in perpetual uncertainty


discontent and


by neither loving you

as much as you want

nor cutting you adrift


your analyst is

in on it

plus your boyfriend

and your ex-husband

and we have pledged

to disappoint you

as long as you need us


in announcing our


we realize we have

placed in your hands

a possible antidote

against uncertainty

indeed against ourselves

but since our Thursday nights

have brought us

to a community of purpose

rare in itself

with you as

the natural center

we feel hopeful you

will continue to make


demands for affection

if not as a consequence

of your

disastrous personality


then for the good of the collective.

Much Love,
Magda Gee

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