connection Archives - Page 12 of 29

Courage to Change

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:May 13, 2018
Post category:Acceptance addiction dirty secrets Faith Mindful Parenting Self-Love Trauma Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

The Classic Fauxpology—CAUTION RED FLAG–Turn and walk away.

I get that my mother did the best she could…and STILL–what happened to me is not right or acceptable. I know we differ in many ways, she and I, one of the more pronounced ways, is that if and when I am struggling to understand and be present for either of my children, I count on friends, whom I call family, to stand in that gap, not to align with me against my sons. My mother’s need to be right outweighed her need for connection with and protection of me. She invited others to align with her, to shame or frighten me into something other…and I sure did become something other than what I was born to be in this world. Ashamed. Angry. Disconnected. Broken AF. (more…)

Shame on Who(or whom)?

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:April 5, 2018
Post category:addiction dirty secrets Trauma Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

You know, as I reflect back on my first 30 years, I no longer feel overtaken by shame. Shame for immense & unspeakable pain and my inability to manage myself…

Get Over It—Umm Okaaay

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:April 2, 2018
Post category:Acceptance addiction dirty secrets Faith Mindful Parenting Self-Love Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Trauma Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

People with narcissistic personalities and behaviors often confuse holding a healthy boundary for holding a grudge. It is prudent,healthy, and fair to openly communicate an unavailability for more of the same diminishing…

Food and Truth-In Abundance

Post author:Magda Gee
Post published:January 23, 2018
Post category:Acceptance addiction dirty secrets Faith Intimacy Self-Love Surviving Narcissistic Abuse Trauma Triangulation & Smear Campaigns

The night seemed long. Wilbur’s stomach was empty and his mind was full. And when your stomach is empty and your mind is full, it’s always hard to sleep.

FOOD & TRUTH–Two things I was starved and desperate for, much of my life. Naturally, I developed food and trust issues which manifested in some pretty destructive ways. Living in a perpetual state of fear, uncertainty, and hunger will drive some very desperate thinking. Being frightened and hungry also made it difficult to fully get adequate rest. Like Winnie the Pooh says “going to bed with a full head and an empty stomach” is rough. So then, throw sleep deprivation in the mix within a home, pulsing with unspeakable rage and shame—what a mess. My inability to manage was viewed as the problem rather than the symptom– typical in these arrangements. I was the canary, scapegoat, black sheep. (I will add here, that truth can be subjective. However, TRUST is what I offer my boys truth and trust- stability.) My experience, coming up in the world doubting myself and all others, especially those I counted on. That was a difficult row to hoe. The way we live and love, in our home, is rooted in immense trust in each other and faith in goodness. This way of living, loving, and parenting is one of the many miracles of recovery. (more…)